I was born a child of the sixties. I never fully understood exactly what that meant except that I was torn between following rules and rebelling. I was an adolescent. And it was a time of war and conflict. By the time I comprehended that I could be sent into harm’s way in service to my country, I had a lottery number for the draft and I had begun to realize that the Presidents which I had supported and believed – had lied to me!
This was the beginning of the loss of trust I experienced in figures of authority – politicians, law enforcement, clergy, and God. If every President that had served since I was born could lie to me – and the American people – how could I trust anyone?
For many years thereafter, my life was marked by divide, separation, and wandering. Over time I found guidance – for time truly heals all things. I discovered Psalm 124; “My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth,” and in Robert Robinson’s haunting hymn, Nettleton (H 686), where the wanderer laments “Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!” I realized I owed my life to the grace I had received and, so I sought and found solace in God.
I didn’t know that God couldn’t reach into my heart and draw me across the great chasm that had grown between us. I didn’t know that God could not bridge the gap that had developed because of the ugliness and bitterness that had taken root in my heart. It was close. I was nearly lost.
But I answered that call God placed on my heart and though I was “prone to leave the God I loved,”— I didn’t. I said, Yes.
Someone once later told me, “you never know what lies on the other side of obedience.” I had no clue what that meant but my decision to trust in God and to be obedient to God, as best I could, has made all the difference.
For I am now a disciple of Jesus.